More To The Story

The scene was familiar, perhaps too familiar for many of us who interact with children: a frustrated outburst, a struggle with listening, the quick, impulsive swing of a hand. My heart ached as I watched a child caught in a wave of difficult behaviors today. In those moments, it's so easy for our natural reaction to kick in – to see only the defiance, the disruption, the "bad" behavior. But as believers, we are called to something far deeper, far more transformative. We are called to look past the person and truly see what Jesus sees.

We never truly know where people are coming from or what hidden battles they are fighting. This truth applies not only to adults but profoundly to children. An outburst might be a cry for help, a lack of self-regulation, or a response to an unseen stressor. A refusal to listen could stem from confusion, fear, or an overwhelmed mind. A hit might be a desperate attempt to communicate, born out of frustration or a feeling of powerlessness.

And here lies our unique and sacred opportunity as followers of Christ. We are not just called to manage behavior; we are called to minister. We have the incredible privilege to not only minister to the struggling individual but to their entire family, offering a glimpse of God's unconditional love and grace.

So, how do we cultivate this Christ-like vision? How do we look past the hitting, the refusing, the screaming, and truly see the child (or adult) through the eyes of Jesus?

1. Remembering Our Own Brokenness: "While We Were Still Sinners..."
It's easy to judge from a distance, but Jesus consistently chose to draw near. Before we can extend grace, we must remember the grace extended to us.

Consider Romans 5:8 (NKJV): "But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."

Before we ever cleaned up our act, before we earned His favor, Christ laid down His life. He didn't wait for us to be perfect. He saw our brokenness, our rebellion, our inability to listen to His commands, and He loved us anyway. This truth should humble us and empower us to extend that same undeserved love to others, especially when their "sin" (in the broad sense of missing the mark) is visibly on display. When we see a child acting out, let us remember our own spiritual outbursts and how patiently God dealt with us.

2. The Heart of Compassion: "Moved with Pity..."
Jesus wasn't just intellectually aware of people's struggles; His heart was deeply moved. He saw beyond the surface need to the deeper human condition.

Look at Matthew 9:36 (NKJV): "But when He saw the multitudes, He was moved with compassion for them, because they were weary and scattered, like sheep having no shepherd."

Jesus saw past their physical ailments, their social standing, or even their obvious sins. He saw their inner weariness, their spiritual hunger, their desperate need for guidance and belonging. The child having an outburst isn't just "naughty"; they may be weary from internal battles, scattered in their emotions, and desperately needing a shepherd to guide them. Our compassion isn't just a fleeting feeling; it's an active, empathetic response that seeks to understand and meet a deeper need.

3. The Power of Looking Deeper: "Man Looks at the Outward Appearance..."

Our natural inclination is to judge by what we see. God’s perspective is always internal.

1 Samuel 16:7 (NKJV) offers a profound truth: "But the LORD said to Samuel, 'Do not look at his appearance or at his physical stature, because I have refused him. For the LORD does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.'"

While this passage speaks of selecting a king, its principle is universally applicable. When a child hits, or refuses to listen, that's the outward appearance. But what is in their heart? Fear? Frustration? A cry for attention? A lack of understanding? As believers, we are called to pray for discernment, to ask God to reveal the heart behind the behavior, so we can respond with wisdom and grace, not just discipline. This doesn't negate the need for boundaries or consequences, but it informs how those are delivered – with love, not just anger.

Our Ministry of Presence and Love
When we encounter a child struggling with outbursts, listening, or hitting, let us pause. Let us pray for eyes like Jesus. This means:

• Practicing empathy: What might they be experiencing?
• Responding with grace: How can I reflect God’s patience and love in this moment?
• Seeking understanding: What is the underlying need or message of this behavior?
• Ministering to the family: How can I support not just the child, but the parents who are also navigating these challenges, reflecting the broader family of God?

Our opportunity is immense. It's not about condoning wrong behavior, but about loving the person through it, just as Christ loved us through our sin. When we choose to see beyond the outburst, we open the door for true ministry, offering a glimpse of a Savior who sees us, knows us, and loves us completely. Let us be reflections of that profound love, today and every day.